Saline Water

Drops wend their way.
It is loss of hope.

Can you stop this nautanki? People can hear you wail.

The deluge continues.
Stormy sighs. Gulped down gulps.

And then that long silence...

SOS.SOS. No response.

Indifference hurts more than one can imagine.

My Experiments with Tea

After savouring tea which costs more than gold in Darjeeling, I seem to have found myself a new obsession. It is 2.00 am in the morning, and I have brewed myself a cup of "Masala Chai" with cinnamon, cardamom, cloves and ginger.

The phrase "storm in a teacup" has taken on new meaning. This brew does have potential.

Cheers !!!!

Mirroring my Mind

Despondency - Matthew Arnold

The thoughts that rain their steady glow
Like stars on life's cold sea,
Which others know, or say they know--
They never shone for me.

Thoughts light, like gleams, my spirit's sky,
But they will not remain.
They light me once, they hurry by;
And never come again.

A Beautiful Mind..

It’s all in the mind. Or so they say. I only wish mine were not so full of chaff. Pessimism seems to be choc- a-block. I am so tired. I wish I could put mine on autopilot at times. Friends, family, fiancé – with a mind like mine, I’m a bane to them all.

A sabbatical is what I really require. I need a mental break. I need time to rejuvenate my fatigued grey cells. Why else would migraines attack me so? I need time to think about what I want. I need good books, and I need good company. Paradoxically, I also need solitude.

The bottom line is that I need help. SOS. SOS. SOS.

Our Car

Ivan Aivazovsky - Landing at Subashi

Ivan Konstantinovich Aivazovsky (Russian: Иван Константинович Айвазовский, Armenian: Հովհաննես Այվազովսկի - Hovhannes Aivazovsky July 29, 1817 – May 5, 1900) was a Russian painter of Armenian descent, most famous for his seascapes, which constitute more than half of his paintings.

Aivazovsky was born in the town of Feodosiya, Crimea, to a poor Armenian family. His parents family name was Aivazian. Some of artist's paintings bear a signature, in Armenian letters, "Hovhannes Aivazian" (Յովհաննէս Այվազեան). His talent as an artist earned him sponsorship and entry to the Simferopol gymnasium №1 and later the St.Petersburg Academy of Arts, from which he graduated with the gold medal. Earning awards for his early landscapes and seascapes, he went on to paint a series of portraits of Crimean coastal towns before traveling throughout Europe. In later life, his paintings of naval scenes earned him a longstanding commission from the Russian Navy.

In 1845, Aivazovsky went to Istanbul upon the invitation of Sultan Abdülmecid, a city he was to travel to eight times between 1845-1890. During his long sojourn in Istanbul, Aivazovsky was commissioned for a number of paintings as a court painter by the Ottoman Sultans Abdülmecid, Abdulaziz and Abdulhamid, 30 of which are currently on display in the Ottoman Imperial Palace, the Dolmabahce Museum and many others at various other museums in Turkey.

Due to his long life in art, Aivazovsky became the most prolific Russian painter of his time. He left over 6,000 works at his death in 1900. With funds earned during his successful career as an artist he opened an art school and gallery in his home town of Feodosiya.

As of 2006[update], Aivazovsky's works have been auctioned for as much as $3,200,000, and his international reputation continues to grow. On June 14, 2007 his painting "American Shipping off the Rock of Gibraltar" sold for 2,710,000 pounds, "the highest price paid at auction for Aivazovsky". He is also said to be the most forged of all Russian painters.

A minor planet 3787 Aivazovskij, discovered by Soviet astronomer Nikolai Stepanovich Chernykh in 1977 is named after him.

Aivazovsky is referenced in Anton Chekhov's play Uncle Vanya.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

***

I am tempted to reproduce this artist on my wedding card. I don't want a typical gaudy one. I was something simple and elegant. And Aivazovsky seems to be a very good idea. And the best part is that the copyright has expired !! Yay !! View of Kerch (1839) is my selection.

Once the venue has been booked, I can contact the printer. Sigh. I seem to be getting old. It's time to get married now. Am I happy, am I sad? Am I looking forward to it? I don't know. If only life were stereotypical, I would not have to indulge in this catechism.

Gratitude

Being grateful is the key to happiness. Or so say a number of self help books. Hmm hmm hmm...so here goes..

1) I am grateful that everything is alright now.
2) I am grateful for the 28th of March. It was one of the best days ever.
3) I am grateful that I can now pat dogs without cringing.
4) I am grateful for the love that dogs can bestow.

Hmm..hmm...rather canine, is it not? But then again Cleopatra is the loveliest bitch I came across. I am quite reconciled to dogs now.

Else, all is ok with my humdrum life. It goes on as usual, and yes I am grateful for that as well.

Such a long journey...

I've come a long long way since the last post. I have one hospital trip, and a surgery whose details are too gory to share behind me. On the other hand, December 2008 ended cheerfully. 21 December was a joyous day. Praise the lord.

New year was good too, and today is the new year according to the Hindu calendar.Hmm...a day for new resolutions? I don't think so. But definitely a day for being grateful. My life seems to be so much happier than that of those around me.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. :)

Barium Meals : Medieval Torture

Who says medieval torture is only medieval? Barium meals are just as bad. I should know having ingested 5 glasses of flavoured chalky stuff recently. Arrrrrrrrrgh !!!

Humiliation

Besides the n number of things I need to confess, this is the one that humiliates me the most. David Lodge just made the confession a little easier.

***

He taught them a game ... in which each person had to think of a well-known book he hadn't read, and scored a point for every person present who had read it.

**
'What d'you call the game?' Melanie asked Philip.

'Humiliation'

***

Now how difficult is that? There is no time. No leisure. I feel intellectually redundant. All this must change, and soon.

I am making a bid at amelioration by "Changing Places" with Lodge, but I hope I don't end up on square one what with the holidays coming to an end. Boo hoo. Where did Diwali go ?

Otherwise, I wait (not so patiently) for good friends to return. Come back, will you? Patience is an expensive commodity, and I cannot afford to run out of it.

Arbeit Macht Frie ? I sincerely doubt it !!

Mushroom Fried Rice

Yippee....it succeeded !!!

The President is Coming

Written by Anubav Pal, and directed by Kunaal(numerology anyone?) Roy Kapoor, The President is Coming is a superlative theatre experience. One of the best performances I have come across to date. The script was scintillating and investigated all the cliches our culture imbibes. It was critical, yet sympathetic. Profound, yet comic. It truly makes you laugh at 'us'.

* * * * *

Belling Bell Pepper Rice

My latest culinary triumph is Bell Pepper Rice. Apparently, this is of Thai origin, but its claim to fame is its simplicity. A few spices, a few bell peppers, and some rice....and voila, you have a meal !! I fear I shall subject my poor husband to this on a daily basis once my infatuation with food wears off.

My Experiments with Food !!

I don't really know what has come over me, but I do find that I am spending a lot of time in the kitchen.

Chocolate Coffee Cake, Chocolate Coffee Mousse Cake, Walnut Cake, the one and only Black Forest soaked in oodles of rum, Chhole Bhature, Sambar, Chilli Paneer,Schezwan Paneer, Rum Chocolates, Mysore Masala Dosa, Sada Dosa etc. etc.

The downside is that at the end of one of my cooking sprees, I am so tired that I rarely taste what I cook or bake. So much for my experiments with food....

Dosa

Golden brown and ever so crisp, this Dosa recipe beats any restaurant preparation.

Ingredients : Boiled rice 2 cups, Normal rice 2 cups, Cooked rice 1 cup, Urad Dal/Black gram beans 1 cup, Toor Dal/Yellow lentils 2 tbps, Sago 2 tbps, Methi seeds 1 tsp, Salt 2 flat tbps or to taste.

Method of preparation :

Clean, wash and soak the boiled and normal rice. Soak the urad dal, toor dal, sago and methi seeds together. It is important to soak the dal and rice separately. Soak for eight to twelve hours.

Finely grind the urad dal, toor dal, sago and methi seeds.Do not add too much water. If a drop of the urad dal batter floats in water, then it is done.

Coarsely grind the rice along with a cup of cooked leftover rice. You may need to add some water while grinding the rice.

Mix the rice and dal batter. Add two flat tbps of salt (or to taste). Beat vigorously till you see bubbles rising. Cover the batter and let it ferment for ten to twelve hours.

Post fermentation, the batter more than doubles in volume, and is light and frothy. Use this batter to make the dosas.

To make the dosa, heat a non stick pan and spread a big spoonful of batter on it. Add some ghee. Cover the dosa for about fifteen to twenty five seconds using a pan lid. Remove the lid, fold the dosa, and serve hot.

* Refrigerate the batter if it is not to be used immediately.

Paneer !!!

A simple and quick cottage cheese recipe that my mother relies on when she is short of time.

Ingredients : Paneer 200 gms, 2 small tomatoes, 2 small onions, 1 tsp ginger garlic paste, 1 tsp garam masala, 2 tbps chilli powder, 1 tsp Corn/Rice flour mixed with a little water (optional), 2 tbps chopped coriander (optional), 1 tbps oil, salt to taste.

Method of preparation : Soak the paneer in salt water (warm water if the paneer has been refrigerated) for a few minutes and drain. Grind the tomatoes and onions to a smooth paste and keep aside. Heat the oil in a vessel and add the tomato, onion, ginger and garlic paste to it. Stir and let it cook for a few minutes. Add the garam masala and chilli powder. Add the corn/rice flour mixture and some water if the gravy is too thick. Now add the paneer and stir well. Add salt to taste. Mix well, and let it simmer for a few minutes.

Garnish with chopped coriander and serve hot.

* You may vary the quantity of the spices to suit your palate
* You may substitue tofu for the paneer
* You may add boiled peas to the above recipe to give you Mutter Paneer

My Life and Hard Times

To whomsoever it may or may not concern

Ho hum....life has been more or less hectic. A ton of tests and a good friend's leaving for Vizag....it feels like I've weathered a storm. And after the storm came the fall. A rather rough one on Colaba Causeway which has resulted in three painkillers a day besides a torn chudidar. One moment I was perfectly alright, and the next I was kneeling as if in prayer, and my left knee took all the brunt. Sir (Capt. S. Raj...I call him Sir) and Caro literally picked me off the pavement and bundled me into a cab after I had rested some on a stool provided by the kindly neighbourhood paan wala.(Pssst....Sir seems to be acquainted with some rather weird people, useful though they may be). All protests of "I am alright, and the torn part is not visible, and we can make it to Churchgate" were shot down with alacrity. Sir saw me to my door lest I manage to damage myself further. A good thing too considering that the swelling and pain are yet to abate.

Ever since I have been suggesting potential PhD topics for psychology enthusiasts. What do you say to a study of the correlation between the way you tumble and the level of embarrassment? You could create your own made to order tumbles with orange/banana/apple peels/other things more or less rotten + your choice of public/private places + incredibly embarrassing post trauma questionnaires. e.g. "How do you feel about the fact that your b** was sticking out when you fell?" Generally horrified when I disgrace myself in public, I seem to be untouched by the tragedy on Saturday. It was just too neat. Hence this train of rather non productive ratiocination. Sadly, it has no takers.

Else, I've been doing a "Rudali" over the answer scripts that my students have presented me. In response to "The lawyer was five and twenty" a student writes, "It means that he was twenty five, or it could also mean that the lawyer was five years old before he was twenty years old". Argggggggggggggggggggh......I need a mental asylum. The horror...the horror !!!

Otherwise, I am perfectly happy with my life and its hard times....

Love,

Pallavi

P.S. - Do not forget to wish me on the 13th as I turn old and grey and remain as unwise as ever. I hope my 43" Plasma T.V. is on its way.

What next?

It looks like I am caught between the devil and the deep sea. And no, I do not plan to explain. What next? Que sera sera....???

SOS

9.113.2091854.156.2965. .. 9.239198.9.235185.4514. .. !!

Onam Special

Dear Anu,

Do send me the other story as well. :)

Else, nothing much...will go to work tomorrow after a week. You celebrating Onam?

Take care...

Love,

Pallavi

* * * *

Anupama Mohan to me
show details
04:08 (6 hours ago)

i hope so! Onam is on the 27th and last time we had the most annoying (hilarious to S) experience. S and i went to 'Madras Palace' whose online menu invitingly screamed 'Onam Special'. off we went on Onam day, and after 1.5 hrs of train, bus, and biped foray, we reach the place. basically, a middle-of-nowhere oasis. first thing to notice: full-throttle south india decor and jagjit singh music playing. ok, "so India is land of contradictions, sue me." we call curly-haired muchhooless waiter. menu comes - i take one look at 'Onam special menu' leaflet in the 14 page novel that is the hotel menu and say, this one. he smiles knowingly and nods his head. left to right. i am a little anxious in case he didnt understand 'this one' said with finger pointing towards leaflet held in plain sight by other hand. confusions happen, right. he clarifies - 'sorry, maadim. no Onam special today.' i am blunderstruck - 'but today is Onam - phbttt phbttt' now it is his turn to be blunderstruck. he recovers. 'yes, maadim. we dont have Onam special. every other day we have. today No.' S is laughing bullets out of his gall bladder by now. i am still thinking he can be redeemed - the waiter that is. so i speak slowly in case he is an escapee on barbiturates. 'today - is - Onam.' the pauses in my words marked the popping of 10 children per second somewhere, probably kerala. waiter unfazed. 'oh sorry maadim, our other branch has Onam special.' i am wary but poor mallu-food-starved tummy was already beginning to get hopeful. 'where is your other branch?' beaming waiter: 'in Richmond Hill, maadim.' S had to physically restrain me from clobbering waiter into chutney powder and dosha. RichfuckingmondHill is next state away. so that was my last Onam - i was super pissed.this time though my new frd - a Mallu and a chef with a restaurant (finally i am learning the art of how to win friends and influence them to open restaurants with my kinda food) has invited us and so it just might be a culinary treat. o'wise there is always leftover stuff in the fridge and an overactive imagination!

: ) long note.

other story beneath.

tell your thoughts.

umma,

Me.

Malavun Taka Deep

Malavun Taka Deep ...this has been one of my favourite songs for multiple reasons. The music here is minimal, and it is the voice that carries the weight.

But what I find more intriguing is how the lyrics successfully combat sexual politics. The song unabashedly vocalises female physical desire. Society tends to portray women as devoid of sexuality and sexual desire. Women are pristine goddesses who are essentially sexually handicapped and paralysed. If they declare otherwise, then they are labelled prostitutes.

This song does neither, and beautifully conveys the dynamics of not singular, but mutual desire.

I have tried to translate my tongue, but I fear I have failed to capture the grandeur of the ornate language.

Of course, if one does not want to analyse the lyrics, one can always concentrate only on Lata Mangeshkar's delicate cadences.

Malavun taka deep = Diminish the light of the lamps
Chetavun aanga aanga = By the spark created by the friction of our bodies
Rajasa kiti disat = O King, it is after many days
Labhala nivaant sanga = That I have had the pleasure of your leisurely company

Tya tithe phula phulat = There amongst all the flowers
Pengete ajun raat = Night still dozes
Haya, tu karu nakos = Oh, please do not
Evadhyaat swapna bhang = So soon destroy my dreams

Chorus :Rajasa kiti disat = O King, it is after many days
Labhala nivaant sanga = That I have had the pleasure of your leisurely company
Malavun taka deep = Diminish the light of the lamps

Gaar gaar hya havet = In this cool weather
Gheuni mala kavet = Taking me into your arms
Mokale karun taak = Release
Ek vaar antarang = Once and for all, your innermost feelings and desires

Chorus : Rajasa kiti disat = O King, it is after many days
Labhala nivaant sanga = That I have had the pleasure of your leisurely company
Malavun taka deep = Diminish the light of the lamps

Door door taarkaat = Far away amongst the stars
Baisili Pahat Nhyat = Morning is bathing herself
Savakash ghe tipun = Without haste cherish
Ek ek roop ranga = Each and every aspect of my beauty

Chorus : Rajasa kiti disat = O King, it is after many days
Labhala nivaant sanga = That I have had the pleasure of your leisurely company
Malavun taka deep = Diminish the light of the lamps

He tula kase kalel = How will you ever fathom
Kon ekate jalel = Who would want to live lonely and burn with desire?
Sanga ka kadhi hare joh = Tell me, does he ever lose
Ekata jale patang = Who chooses to singe oneself and die like the candle moth?

Chorus : Rajasa kiti disat = O King, it is after many days
Labhala nivaant sanga = That I have had the pleasure of your leisurely company
Malavun taka deep = Diminish the light of the lamps

Kay ha tujhacha shwaas = What, is this your breath
Daravale ithe suvaas = That scatters its fragrance everywhere
Bola re halu, uthel = Speak softly, lest there rise
Chandanya vari tarang = ripples amongst the stars

Chorus : Rajasa kiti disat = O King, it is after many days
Labhala nivaant sanga = That I have had the pleasure of your leisurely company
Malavun taka deep = Diminish the light of the lamps

Capitulation

The capitulation is complete !! I surrender. I finally meet my Waterloo !! Tsk tsk....what a way to go....

May Musings?

What's done cannot be undone. And I'm glad. It's all for the best eventually. There is so much to look forward to. I just need to let this anger drain.

***

I want to meet Bhavya. Is there anything I can do for her? Would it serve my purpose to be a snitch?

***

I need to pen a letter soon. What shall I write? What apologies can I offer? Was I negligent? Is it too late?

***

So many reports.
So many questions

.

The Quintessence of JNS IB

Pallavi to JNS-IB-English.
show details 20:29 (0 minutes ago)

My dear students,

Exactly where is this argument going? I assume ya'll realise that I am perusing your rather entertaining exchange. And Anuj, pray why are you supposedly quoting me. Quote Shakespeare instead. He provides more colourful vocabulary.

It's been a pleasure teaching ya'll. . . though we've had our ups and downs. And I reckon I shall miss you'll (cliche?). For me, the best part of JNS = my students. Thank you for a wonderful experience.

And now let's get to business ....where are the last few CAS filesssss? ;)


Good luck for your exams.

Love,

Pallavi


- Hide quoted text -
On 13/04/07, anuj gupta wrote:
dude hridaye this aint fair man...shes making fun of u..and u aint doing shit abt it....hetali..wait let me emphazise HETALI!!!!!!! is making fun of u...i think you should do something about it..and ...kunal and hridaye...u know who the thing is..and no its not hetali...shes not THAT bad looking...i mean she is...but not that bad man hehehehe...i hope "THE THING" doesnt read this...coz she is guilty..and shell know...and yes in pallavi misses words "your so horrible"...but sorry its not affecting me in anyway..she was created by god to be made fun of..what am to do?..i am a very god fearing person..i need to obey his ways...i am sorry...u thing...you know who u are.




On 4/13/07, hetali pandya wrote:
hridayee i love uu mannnn........... u noe its all joke cause anuj nd kunal r pissin me off!!! hahahah ur my frndd due no matte wattt


Damandeip chadha < damandeip@gmail.com> wrote:
hahahahaha this is funny shit man


On 4/12/07, Hridaye Nagpal wrote:
and all this time i supported u.......fuck of now



On 4/12/07, hetali pandya wrote:
anuj u noe thts not funny at alll...................i mean don compare me 2 hridaye ....yukkkkkkkkkkk hahah


Kunal Saha wrote:
WAIT!! I got it!! i think it is..i think ...its ...HETALI!!


On 4/12/07, hetali pandya < hetali_p@yahoo.com > wrote:
haha i need help anujj...please fill in the blanksss

anuj gupta < anuj89@gmail.com> wrote:
ur a **a**i --- aka "the thing" play hangman till u get a name...(vowels are given) contact me if u need any help gaytali.


On 4/12/07, hetali pandya wrote:
aunjjj ur hridayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.................nthn can b worst than this hahahahahhaha

anuj gupta < anuj89@gmail.com> wrote:
hetali is gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (no puns intended) (ull know what i mean) to make it clear for ull i mean (homoooossseeexxxxuuuaallllll) gayyyyyy



On 4/10/07, Pallavi < pallavee@gmail.com > wrote:
I will be unable to take you'll for two hours as I have other work.

Hence B div = 9 to 10 and C = 10 to 11.

Please take note of the same and inform the rest.

Regards,

Pallavi

--
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute

~ Rebecca West, 1913


Applesauce @ http://www.pallavees.blogspot.com/


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--
if she asks you why you can tell her that i told you that im tired of castles in the air
i have a dream i want the world to share these castle walls
leave me to dispair

sometimes the only way to make your self look good is by making others look bad and im tired of making others look good
hope to hear from you soon....
Kunal Saha


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--
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute

~ Rebecca West, 1913


Applesauce @ http://www.pallavees.blogspot.

An ode to the "Noble" Profession.

Teachers. A part of the noble profession? I am not so sure any more.

What am I doing? Why am I here? Is it worth it?

A snake pit !! A snake pit !!! A S s s nake pit !!!!!!!!!!!!

The students seem to be the only silver lining to this expansive black hole . . .

Waterloo?

Finally facing my Waterloo? I don't think so. . . .

Of Pachyderms..

My resolution to become a pachyderm has failed miserably. I think I shall turn into a dinosaur next. They had a thicker hide, didn't they? :)

Addicted

Either I'm dazed or I'm low. Is there no way out? Where there's a will.....hmm..hmm..hmmmm....

"Lust for Life" ? ...

...and he shoots himself eventually? I don't understand it. I prefer Monet and his parasols. So much more sheltered !!

***

Why do I use exclamations so often? That is what my students ask me. Apparently my slides are peppered with them. I apparently also use apparently very often.

That latter answers itself easily. It is so much easier to sit on the fence, to equivocate, to be ambivalent...

***

And where am I going with this? I have no idea. None at all.

Hail anarchy and confusion...I shall spend another year meandering through life !!!!!

D Day

This has been one of the lousiest days so far...I hate the 19th of December !!!!

Under the Shanghai Sun

I went to China with dual purposes. The official aim was to attend the IB Asia-Pacific Regional Workshop on CAS (Mixed Level) at the Shanghai Jincai High School in Shanghai. The unofficial one was to pick up authentic Chinese chopsticks for an ever effervescent colleague.



Every morning and afternoon from the 27th to the 29th of October was devoted to the workshop. Steven Money, the workshop leader, was efficient, and the interaction with CAS Coordinators from all over the Asia-Pacific was productive. Language proved no barrier as Angrezi, pidgin or otherwise, ruled the roost.



The Shanghai streets were not so kind, and communication proved Greek, Latin and obviously, Mandarin. Consequently, buying chopsticks was the more complex task. A comparison of Shanghai and Mumbai was inevitable thanks to Mr. Vilasrao Deshmukh's rhetoric of an impending metamorphosis.



The Chinese metropolis is divided into two parts by the Huangpu river. Acting as a timeline, the water body cuts the city into the old Puxi ( West Bank) area and the newly developed Pudong (East Bank) area. While symmetrical Pudong sent my sense of direction wandering, Puxi was more familiar with its Fort like colonial aura.



At night, Shanghai dazzles electrically (they apparently have no load shedding worries) on both sides of the Bund that separates the two banks. The Jade Buddha temple, the Yu Yuan Gardens, the French Concession and the Pearl Culture centre, amongst others, are worth a dekko. The architecture is uniformly futuristic and the landscaping meticulous. The plethora of Pizza Huts and Starbucks is proof of an economy in transition.



However, the perfect pièce de résistance loses its gilt when one comes across the impecunious begging for a few Yuan, albeit, no Dharavi is in sight. The duplicate market thrives in spite of official bans, and is reminiscent of Chor Bazaar. Disparity, though effaced, is present.



Despite the obvious cracks, Shanghai remains a city worth emulating. But is displacing and dislocating 70,000 slum dwelling families going to transform the ugly step sister into Cinderella?



We can only wait for the fairy godmother !!

Left / Right ?

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (48%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (48%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Testing Times

INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

Free Jung Word Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Sleep Deprived !!!!!

I need rest !

I need rest !!

I need rest !!!

I need rest !!!!

I need rest !!!!!

I need rest !!!!!!

I need rest !!!!!!!

And shall the rest be history?

S.O.S.

! = one day

I hate myself and want to die ...Nirvana?

Despondency

THE THOUGHTS that rain their steady glow
Like stars on life’s cold sea,
Which others know, or say they know—
They never shone for me.

Thoughts light, like gleams, my spirit’s sky,
But they will not remain.
They light me once, they hurry by,
And never come again.

~ Matthew Arnold

Diwali Resolutions...

**Kuch To Log Kahenge
Logon Ka Kaam Hai Kehna**
Chhodo Bekaar Ki Baaton Mein
Kahin Beet Na Jaaye Raina
** **

Kuch Reet Jagat Ki Aisi Hai
Har Ek Subah Ki Shaam Hui
Tu Kaun Hai Tera Naam Hai Kya
Seeta Bhi Yahan Badnaam Hui
Phir Kyon Sansaar Ki Baaton Se
Bheeg Gaye Tere Naina
** **

Humko Jo Taane Dete Hain
Hum Khoyen Hai Inn Rang Raliyon Mein
Humne Unko Bhi Chhup Chhup Ke
Aate Dekha Inn Galiyon Mein
Yeh Sach Hai Jhoothi Baat Nahin
Tum Bolon Yeh Sach Hain Na

Kuch To Log Kahenge
Logon Ka Kaam Hai Kehna


*******

Kuch To Log Kahenge is the refrain I dole out to the hoi polloi. For me, it has just been a platitude that does nothing to block the lachrymal secretions. The barbs are just as keen; and my skin as permeable as ever.

I think it's time to shed the ineffective cover, and don the garb of a pachyderm.

Hail the herds........!! :)

Anaesthetised Sati

Mother tells me I have a wild imagination. But what does one think of, when in spite of a cold that has clogged olfactory modality, one gets a distinct whiff of one's flesh vaporising. Cautery under anesthesia is like going sati without the pain and the eventual demise.

My nerves seem to have taken the brunt literally though. I feel nothing. All tactile sensation is gone. I can pinch myself all I like, and still continue dreaming. Some subcutaneous nerve may have been excised along with the cyst.

Que sera sera? Who knows...I don't need painkillers !! :)

That's NOT What I Go to School For ...

5, September 2006 - Teacher's Day.

I woke up to hear the rain beating its thunderous symphony on my always closed pane. I would have to take the cab again, and the ride without my MP3 player was going to be a drag. I rummaged through my cupboard and pulled out the headphones for my cell radio.

***

Teacher's Day dedications blared and voila, the RJ dedicated the following number to all teachers...

Her voice is echoed in my mind
I count the days till she is mine
Can’t tell my friends cuz they will laugh
I love a member of the staff

I fight my way to front of class
To get the best view of her ass
I drop a pencil on the floor
She bends down and shows me more

CHORUS
That’s what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore
You can call me crazy
But I know that she craves me
That’s what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore
Girlfriends I’ve had plenty
But none like Miss Mackenzie
That’s what I go to school for
That’s what I go to school for

So she may be thirty-three
But that doesn’t bother me
Her boyfriend's working out of town
I find a reason to go round

I climb a tree outside her home
To make sure that she's alone
I see her in her underwear
I can’t help but stop and stare

CHORUS

Everyone that u teach all day knows your looking at me in a different way
I guess that's why my marks are getting so high
I can see those tell tale signs telling me that I was on your mind
I could see that you wanted more when you told me that I’m what you go to
school for
I’m what you go to school for

She’s packed her bag it's in the trunk
Looks like she’s picked herself a hunk
We drive past school to say goodbye
My friends they can’t believe their eyes

CHORUS

***

Gag. Choke. Splutter.

***

That is definitely NOT what we go to school for !!!

Busted ??

I'm a Barbie Girl in a Gay World !!

Lesbian Barbie upsets Mattel

Curitiba: Toy manufacturer Mattel is reportedly threatening to sue a Brazilian artist for portraying Barbie as a lesbian.

Karin Schwarz's exhibition features pictures of Barbie in compromising situations, reports the Jornal de Sao Paulo newspaper.

Mattel has given the artist 24 hours to close down the exhibiton or they say they will take legal action.

But Ms Schwarz says she will not back down: "Barbie is exploited by Mattel. She wears a bikini, she shows off her belly, has big breasts, and even has a boyfriend," she said.

The exhibition, entitled Amazing Girls, is on show at a bar in the city of Curitiba.

A Mattel spokesperson said: "Barbie is a very proper lady and she is not happy about being portraited as something that she isn't.

"We are going to sue and we hope that this teaches people a lesson. Also, Barbie is 46 years old, she should be respected!"

Courtesy : The Mumbai Mirror

P.S. - Hail Ms Schwarz

The Nevermore

Look in my face; my name is Might-have-been;
I am also called No-more, Too-late, Farewell;
Unto thine ear I hold the dead-sea shell
Cast up thy Life's foam-fretted feet between;
Unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen
Which had Life's form and Love's, but by my spell
Is now a shaken shadow intolerable,
Of ultimate things unuttered the frail screen.

Mark me, how still I am ! But should there dart
One moment through my soul the soft surprise
Of that winged Peace which lulls the breath of sighs, -
Then shalt thou see me smile, and turn apart
Thy visage to mine ambush at thy heart
Sleepless with cold commemorative eyes.


~~~ Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Open Sesame

Courtesy : My student Hridaye Ashish Nagpal

The Rising

Some clouds have a chemical lining !!

The Slough of Despond....

Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful!

Possessed?

12.5 %

My weblog owns 12.5 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

Hiatus

On break from blogging until inspired by the moronic Muses.

Armed for Life

Sushila Patil is an ex-army nurse. She was recently operated for ovarian cancer. She presently resides in Aalandi (a town near Pune) in a small rented room all by herself.

There is much I can and want to say about her, but to use a cliche, I shall never do her any justice. So I end my brief ramble here though it shall continue metaphysically.

Amen !!

Depraved

"Isn't Ross cute?"

"Yeah. I love 'Friends'"

"Me too"

I've had no 'Friends' in my life. None at all. It's been more than a decade. I won't really say I miss them. But yes, I wouldn't mind having them around. Of course, it would mean I would get no work done, but it would be nice to live vicariously for a change.

Yes, I confess. I am a freak !! I haven't watched regular television for more than ten years. "Jurassic Park", anyone?

And no, I'm not complaining; but it does make me a sucker for movies. It's almost 4 a.m. and I am still glued to my laptop. These 25 DVDs with all the movies I've ever wanted to watch have driven me crazy.

Am I depraved or what?

Ennui

There shall be no more posts until I manage to clear my cache of tons of bad humour !!

Friday the 13th, May 1983

"Happy Birthday to You" is a song which is sung to celebrate the anniversary of a person's birth. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, "Happy Birthday to You" is the most popular song in the English language, followed by "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" and "Auld Lang Syne". The song has been translated into many languages, though it is often sung with the English lyrics in countries where English is not a primary language. It's also the most frequently sung song in America.

The melody of "Happy Birthday to You" was written by American sisters Patty and Mildred Hill in 1893 when they were school teachers in Louisville, Kentucky. The verse was originally intended as a classroom greeting entitled "Good Morning to All". The version as we know it was copyrighted in 1935 by the Summy Company as an arrangement by Preston Ware Orem, and is scheduled to expire in 2030. This was the first copyrighted version to include the lyrics. The company holding the copyright was purchased by Warner Chappell in 1990 for $15 million dollars, with the value of "Happy Birthday" estimated at $5 million. [1] While the current copyright status of the song is unclear, Warner claims that unauthorized public performances of the song are technically illegal unless royalties are paid to them. It is not completely certain who wrote the lyrics to "Happy Birthday to You".

During the SARS outbreak in Hong Kong in 2003, the government advised people to regularly wash their hands with soap for around 15 seconds. In order to make this practice more easily handled by kids, some primary school and kindergarten teachers told their students to sing "Happy Birthday to You" slowly while they washed their hands, and to only stop washing after finishing the song.

Courtesy : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Birthday_to_You

Vade Mecum

I am no longer a part of the countless unemployed Indians.

The Power of Goodbye

I owe my brother an immense debt for introducing me to this song by Madonna. It teaches one to stop self-flagellating.....with or without a "bruised heart" !!

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something’s wrong
I pray to God that it won’t be long
Do ya wanna go higher?

Chorus:

There’s nothing left to try
There’s no place left to hide
There’s no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress

Chorus2:

There’s nothing left to lose
There’s no more heart to bruise
There’s no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye

Courtesy : http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/madonna/86871.html

Oh Caro...

Three theories explaining the possible causes of the untimely
ghostification of K**** and other phantom members of the class of 2006:

1) The Note-to-Float Model: This content-based theory, first proposed
by Blahblah and Boring (1532), states that the content of notes may be
toxic, and repeated prolonged exposure may result in feelings of
weightless floating and spirit-type non-being.


2) The Study Sickness Theory: This theory, propounded by Yawn et al
(1860), is process-based. Similar to the Sleeping Sickness caused by
the Tse-Tse Fly, this condition is caused by the equally deadly Paper
Five, which induces a deep sleep in the reader. Although this condition
is not permanent, it occurs every time the paper is taken up, thus
contributing to confused cognitions regarding the reality of one's own
existence.


3) Type Zzzz Personality: This trait approach suggests that Type Zzzz
Personality persons and xeroxes are incompatible and contact may result
in a sudden state of REM, and thus to instant ghostification.


Short term interventions for the spirit state include sleeping, staring
into space, chatting with friends, complaining about how pointless it
all seems, and watching T.V. However, these have been found to have
only temporary positive effects.

(Reproduced without the permission of my comrade Caroline D'Souza - a budding psychotic psychologist)

Patented Puking Pastilles

An erudite monograph on modes of lowering the suicide rate among stressed students

(Coming Soon at a Chemist near you)

Airborne to Chairborne

"Airborne to Chairborne" is the title of the essay I studied in school as a 10th standard student.

Later, I met the man. His ideas on God, euthanasia and the condition of the disabled induced a catechism of my very complacent notions.

This post (his article) is a tribute of sorts !!

Airborne to Chairborne

All my attempts to move my limbs were futile. The pain in the neck was excruciating and it intensified by the second. I was stumped for a moment but quickly recovered to realise the seriousness and significance of my inability to get up. I do not remember whether I screamed involuntarily, then, in sheer desperation. On that abominable night, my mind was in a medley of intense frustration, utmost dejection and extreme disappointment. For some timeless moments, I wished I were dead.

On 28 June '88, at around 2300 hrs, whilst returning to the Officers Mess on my motorcycle after night flying, I drove onto a road barrier just ahead of the technical area gate, inside Air Force Station, Pathankot. The impact of the helmet on the wooden bar wrenched my neck and broke the cervical spine. Fifteen minutes after the accident, I was taken to the Station Sick Quarters in an unconscious state. While being carried, my head was left unsupported. The base of the helmet (rear side) which was resting against the nape of the neck pushed the fractured vertebrae into the cervical spinal cord. (The casualty must always be carried in a stretcher, after immobilising his/her neck with a cervical collar.) The resultant spinal injury completely paralysed me below the neck.

After overnight's stay in Military Hospital (MH), Pathankot, I was transferred to Army Hospital, Delhi (AHDC). Neck surgery failed to mitigate my predicament. Though I had brief spells of consciousness during the fortnight's hospitalisation in AHDC, my memory fails to recollect my fight for survival. On 12 July '88, I was transferred to the Spinal Cord Injury Centre of MH Kirkee, Pune.

Two weeks after my admission, I gathered my wits and eagerly inquired about the prognosis. The medical officer looked up and motioned his hands skywards; perhaps he wanted me to adjure divine intervention. This charade instantly deflated my hopes but it lucidly conveyed the enormity and helplessness of the incurable nature of the incapacitation. Inconsistencies of life have always bemused me but not even the wildest nightmare presaged that one day I would fall prey to such a quirk of fate. The modicum of faith I had in Providence got shattered when I failed to show even an iota of improvement.

The cervical spinal injury (quadriplegia) necessitated me to lead a totally dependent life, tethered to the bed and wheel chair. Now, I am like a man fettered for life; unable to use my hands and legs, incontinent and spoon‑fed. Ironically, the most painful aspect of quadriplegia is the painlessness! It isn’t mere loss of tactile inputs and outputs but absolute dependence on someone else to accomplish mundane necessities and domestic chores that yoked me; even for things like swabbing ears and swatting flies.

Disuse atrophy had set in within a couple of months and took its toll by altering the geometry of my torso and limbs. The mirror replicated the image of a human skeleton swathed in a layer of wizened skin. Two years' stay in MH Kirkee taught me how to battle the numerous encumbrances and how to conquer the bouts of depression. With a smile on my face, I managed to dissemble the pangs of the heart. The Indian Air Force (IAF) realised my uselessness and discharged me from the service on 12 April '90. The silly accident dealt coup de grace to my aspirations and terminated my fledgling career in the IAF. In August '90, at the young age of 26, I got admitted in Paraplegic Home, Park Road, Kirkee, Pune, as an inmate to begin the second phase of my life ‑ afresh.

I was born and brought up in a village by name Chirayinkil, 35 kms north of Trivandrum. At the age of nine, I entered Sainik School, Kazhakootam. A slow learner and an unobtrusive student by nature, I had excelled consistently in both academics and sports. Later on, I was found worthy enough to be adjudged as the best Air Force cadet of 65th course of National Defence Academy (NDA), Khadakwasla, Pune and as the best in aerobatics of 134th Pilots Course of Air Force Academy, Secunderabad. In Dec '84, I was commissioned into the IAF as a fighter pilot. I had 700 hours of flying experience (including 500 hours of flying in a magnificent flying machine called MiG-21) during my truncated career in the IAF.

All my efforts to rationalise personal catastrophes have always mystified and at times stupefied me. To adapt to the new challenges posed by the debility, I had to unshackle myself from the self‑imposed stupor. Therefore, in Sep '90, I decided to learn the art of writing by holding a pen in my mouth (because of dysfunctional hands). I began scribbling illegibly but was chagrined to find little progress even after 3 weeks' laborious efforts. Then, I decided to change tactic and wrote a letter to Sheela George, the person who kept on chivvying to start mouth‑writing (earlier I had paid little attention to her exhortations). My joy knew no bounds when I completed the few lines that embodied my first mouth‑written letter. Initially, I found my hard work to be a mere pie in the sky; but, 4 to 5 months' assiduous efforts resulted in attaining a readable style of writing. This modest achievement enabled me in reviving the chain of correspondence and begetting new friends.

In May 1991, I was presented with an electrically operated wheel chair, with chin controls for manoeuvring, thanks to the benevolence of the IAF. Motorised mobility, though only a poor substitute for natural one, has enlivened my lifestyle considerably.

It was Wing Commander PI Murlidharan, my former flight commander, who mooted the use of a personal computer (PC), as a writing tool. He added that it would assist me to utilise my mental faculty to the hilt. Hitherto unsuccessful attempts in procuring a keyboard (modified to suit my requirements) have somewhat emasculated my resolve. Nonetheless, my hope of acquiring a PC remains undiminished.

In the meantime, I toyed with the idea of teaching. For some untenable reasons, I kept on declining the offers by bringing one imaginary reason or another as an ad hoc excuse. Aforesaid setbacks notwithstanding, I'm very hopeful of converting the second phase of my life into something as meaningful as the one I would have had from the confines of a cockpit.

Believe it or not, every dark cloud has a silver lining. To surmount even seemingly insuperable obstacles, one has to muster the remnant faculties and shun the thought of disability and then canalise one's dormant energies purposefully and whole‑heartedly. It isn't just physical ability and average intelligence but an insatiable appetite for success and an unflagging will power that would texture the warp and woof of the fabric called human destiny. Greater the difficulty, sweeter the victory.

Prejudice & Prejudice

The backdrop is quasi Grecian.

It is pouring cats, dogs, and elephants.

Elizabeth Bennet is drenched, and Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy is dripping too.

He tells her he loves her. She rages and refuses him.

Soppy?

***

Lizzie is visiting Pemberley.

Michelangeloesque art is splashed across walls and ceilings.

Naked bodies. Fluttering cloaks.

Nude sculptures are caressed by electronic eyes.

Particularly the butt.

Soft porn?

***

Proud to be Prejudiced !!!

Premacha Gulkand

By a Marathi poet whose name I forget..

AbUSED

"I don't want to lose touch with you".

Right. Thank you.

You expect me to believe that?

Tears. Evaporation. NaCl.

So many pinches of salt.

Mounds.

Heaps.

Mountains.

I refuse to scale them anymore.

Beating Around the Bush

India has done a great job as a democracy: Bush

At the best of times, meeting the most powerful man on the planet can be intimidating. But when he walks into the Roosevelt Room of the White House quite unexpectedly a few minutes ahead of the scheduled interview time holding in his hands a book you have written, and quips, "I've been reading a good book lately!" the most composed journalist can be knocked galley west. You could have felled me with a noodle. I barely managed a "Thank you, Mr President" as he put the book in from of him and settled into his chair. He was flanked to his left by National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley and to his right by Presidential spokesman Scott McClellan. Two other aides sat next to them, and with me was a journalist from the Hindi daily Dainik Bhaskar .

President Bush bantered for a while with other US wire correspondents who were seated behind us but were not allowed to ask questions.

He made a brief preliminary statement about how much he and his wife Laura Bush are looking forward to their first trip to India. He also lavished praise on Prime Minister Manmohan Singh describing him as a "very decent, honorable person with whom we established warm relations... kind person (who) at the same time represented his great country's interests very well."

President Bush then took questions:

Chidu Rajghatta : Mr. President, how and why has India come front and center to US strategic thinking now after being on the margins for so many years?

THE PRESIDENT : Well, as you know there was a history, particularly during the Cold War, that made it difficult for our countries to establish a close relationship. However, things change in the world. And as the post-Cold War thaw developed, as -- attitudes began to shift.

Secondly, the Indian economy, as a result of more transparency and openness and trade, began to change. And as the Indian economy changed, it changed the commercial relationship between the United States and India.

Thirdly, there are some common threats that make it in our interests to work together -- namely terrorism. As I said in my speech today, the United States has been attacked, but India certainly understands what it means to have suffering as a result of terrorist activities. And so there's common interests that have helped to change the relationship. And I intend to seize those interests, as does the Prime Minister, in order to foster what we've called a strategic relationship.

And in my speech today, I made it clear to the American people that this relationship is in our interests. And I described the various ways it was in our interests. It's just I think the evolution of the relationship goes to show that the world is -- changes, and it's never static. And so thank you for the question.

Q : Mr. President, if India's credentials are so good, why isn't the US backing its candidacy for the U.N. Security Council?

THE PRESIDENT : Well, let me make one other point, if you don't mind, that I should have made in my speech today, and that is that there are a lot of Indian Americans who made a tremendous contribution to our country, as well. And there are a lot of -- over the last -- as the high-tech boom helped transform our society, a lot of the brain power behind that boom have been Indian Americans, as well as Indians educated here in America. And so the American people, as well, have begun to get kind of a different perspective on the great contributions that India can not only make to our own country but can make to the world.

Our position on the United Nations Security Council has been very clear. First, we support a U.N.Security Council reform, but we think it ought to happen after other institutions within the United Nations become reformed. What I was always worried about is that we would focus on the U.N. Security Council and nothing else would happen. And so we have -- we have said to all parties concerned, I fully understand the Indian position, just like other nations, that we will take your case under consideration, but first things first.

And a classic case of the reform I'm talking about is the Human Rights Commission. It needed to be reformed. And what I was, again, worried about is that we'd miss opportunity while focusing on the U.N. Security Council.

Q : Mr. President, when do you intend to take the US.-India nuclear deal before the Congress, and before the Nuclear Supplies Group, which is part of the US obligation?

THE PRESIDENT : Yes, it is. As we speak, Nick Burns, of the State Department, is discussing this vital issue with the Indian counterparts. We are working through what has been -- as I said in the speech, a difficult issue for the Indian government, as well for the American government. To change the past, the ways of the past can be difficult at times.

I appreciate the Prime Minister's courage last July of laying out a way forward, which I support. And so first things first is to go to India and hopefully reach an agreement on separation, and then bring that agreement back and start selling it to the Congress.

It's -- but we can't bring anything back until we've agreed to the agreement. And that's what's happening now. There's a spirit of goodwill and cooperation.

It's in our country's interest, by the way, to encourage India -- and aid India in its development of a civilian nuclear power program. The American people are beginning to see high prices of energy, but so are the Indian people. And the reason why is, is that there's growing economies -- ours, India's, China's -- which is adding to global demand for energy. And demand is outstripping supply, and then what happens, you see price.

And one way to help deal with price here at home and/or with India is to develop alternative ways to power homes and businesses, as well as automobiles. I was sincere in my speech today when I said that we're dedicated to research and development to come up with alternative ways to use automobiles, and want to share that technologies with other nations, particularly a nation like India, which has got huge potential and vast room for growth.

And it's in our mutual interests -- I also made it clear that it's in our interests that the Indian economy prosper. And it's a very simple reason why.

One, a prosperous country is one that is -- particularly one that has shown its capacity to deal with a multi-ethnic and multi-religious society -- it will give India more opportunity to lead, particularly in parts of the world where people need to see how democracy can work and function in a proper way.

And secondly, the American people have got to understand a prosperous India is advantageous to our own industries. I mean, we want people buying American products, Indians want Americans buying Indian products, and that exchange of trade in a free and fair way is beneficial for workers and consumers.

And I said an amazing statistic today -- at least I thought it was -- 300 million middle-class citizens in India.

That's larger than the population of the United States. And so we shouldn't fear relations with India -- matter of fact, we ought to welcome them and work on ways to strengthen them. That's really what the purpose of the trip is.

Q : Do you consider India to be a responsible nuclear nation?

THE PRESIDENT : I do, particularly when they signed the IAEA safeguards, and they have a separation between their military and their civilian nuclear parts of their government.

Q : Mr. President, would the United States have a problem if India continued to source oil and gas from Iran?

THE PRESIDENT : I think people are going to have to buy their energy where they can get it. On the other hand, I do want to make it clear to the Indian people and the Indian government that an Iran with a nuclear weapon will destabilize the world, and that those of us who are for peace and stability must work in concert. So there's a difference between energy supply and working closely to achieve a very important objective.

And we will discuss this issue carefully with the Prime Minister. There is a consensus in the world, and that consensus is that an Iranian government that has declared its -- has said that Israel shouldn't exist, for example, and if it were to have a nuclear weapon, would be a danger to all of us. And I will continue to make that point with the Prime Minister.

Q : Why has the US not questioned A.Q. Khan, whose activities intersect proliferation and terrorism?

THE PRESIDENT : Well, we were the nation that exposed the conspiracy to deal with -- more than the conspiracy, the activities, let me rephrase that -- we were the nation that exposed the activities of sharing technologies, sensitive technologies, nuclear-related weapons-related technologies. And we, of course, want to know as much about the A.Q. Khan network as possible. But had it not been for US. intelligence, coupled with British intelligence, this network never would have been exposed. And the light of day helps understand proliferation.

Q : Mr. President, why does India have to jump through the hoops to get a civilian nuclear agreement when its energy requirements are similar to China, another big, growing economy?

THE PRESIDENT : There are the nuclear supplier group, and the IAEA -- in other words, the world has signed on to this.

We think it's in India's interest to do so, as it pertains to its civilian nuclear power industry. It will give confidence to people. It will make it easier for the United States to work with India. This will be a confidence-building measure that we don't believe is an unrealistic request. And we do realize there will be separation between the military side and the civilian side. What we're working on is the civilian side.

Q : Is the US more comfortable dealing with dictators and monarchs?

THE PRESIDENT : Do what now? Do I feel comfortable doing what?

Q : Dealing with dictators and monarchs?

THE PRESIDENT : And monarchs? Well, I mean, I've got a great relationship with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain. (Laughter.) She's a lovely lady and a great figure in a country that's an important ally. And, of course, that monarchy is very supportive of a free and open and democratic system.

(Getting serious) You must take the words that I said in my second inaugural address very seriously, in that we must end tyranny in the 21st century. It's a goal that all of us can work on. India has got a unique role to play. I mean, when you really think about troubled spots, these are countries many times that are having difficulty dealing with what it means to honor minority rights and welcoming different religions within kind of a social and civil fabric.

And India has done a magnificent job of showing the world how democracy can work. And it's -- India is -- I'm confident the country will play a constructive role and can do so in a much better way many times than the United States can. I mean, after all, there are 150 [sic] Muslims living within the Indian democracy. We got a lot of Muslims in the United States, as well, which shows the world that it's -- your capable of honoring -- worshiping God as you see fit, and you can do so in a free way, and at the same time, be a productive citizen of a state.

And India can help a lot. I was very impressed by its contribution to a new democracy in the neighborhood, and that's Afghanistan. India has provided $565 million of cash, recently pledged an additional $50 million to build the Afghan National Assembly building. And that's responsible -- a responsible nation does that. And it's a -- it goes to show -- at least says to me that India understands that a democracy in our neighborhood will help yield peace, because if you study the history of the world, regions that had been in turmoil are now peaceful as a result of the evolution of democracy.

And one of the points I made in my address to the Asia Society is that there are -- there's more democracies now in the region, which will make it easier for a current Prime Minister, future Prime Minister of India to help achieve the vision that we all want, which is a peaceful world.

Q : Mr. President, in this era of free flow capital,why would -- why are there so many restrictions about inflow of talent -- human capital to the United States, who probably add wealth and knowledge?

THE PRESIDENT : I appreciate that question. I am -- you're talking about visa restrictions for highly educated citizens. I am for lifting those. I think we ought to raise the level of those who are either educated here and stay here and/or come meeting high-- with high skill levels. It's in our interest.

I've always been a proponent of that.And likewise, I would hope that India would lift its investment caps. In other words -- and part of the trip is to kind of work on ways to continue to develop this strategic relationship in a constructive way.

It's a -- you know, I said something interesting -- at least I thought it was interesting -- in the speech.

I said, for a period of time, if you're a friend of Pakistan, you couldn't deal with India, and if you're a friend of India, you couldn't deal with Pakistan.

And we have tried to change the relationships so that people recognize it's in their interest that the United States is a friend of Pakistan's, and people in Pakistan recognize it's in their interest that the United States is a friend of India's to help, if need be, reduce tensions.

Right now, the level of tensions are, relatively speaking, down. I can remember when I first came into office. You might remember there was a series of incidents that got everybody quite nervous, and we had shuttle diplomacy -- Colin Powell. And it seems to me that there is a renewed commitment to resolving problems. I thought it was very interesting that trade between the two countries has doubled, that there's, you know, new transportation hubs. That's all very positive in terms of resolving issues.

You asked me about the relationship, how it's evolved, and I mentioned to you that as time passes sometimes, and circumstances change, relationships are able to develop a new dynamic. I would hope that time and circumstantial change is enabling India and Pakistan to develop a new dynamic. It appears to be that way.

Final question.

Q : Mr. President, you're going to India, but you're not visiting the Taj Mahal...

THE PRESIDENT : I know. It means I'm going to have to

Q : Have you broken the news to the First Lady?

THE PRESIDENT : No, it means I'm going to have to come back. It's a -- I am disappointed with that. People who have seen the Taj Mahal say that it's -- pictures don't do it justice. It's one of the great magnificent sites of the world. And look, if I were the scheduler, perhaps I'd be doing things differently. But you want me doing one thing.

I'll be the President, we've got the scheduler being the scheduler. I'm going to miss a lot of the really interesting parts of your great country. I know that.

I would hope that I would be invited back sometime after this trip.

Q : You could be in trouble with the "Desperate Housewife."

THE PRESIDENT : Yes. Well, she's certainly the star of the family. She's really looking forward to going with me.

Q : Between a cricket match and a Bollywood movie, what would you like watching?

THE PRESIDENT : I'm a cricket match person.

(Laughter.) I appreciate it. As I understand it, I may have a little chance to learn something about cricket. It's a great pastime. (Laughter.)

Q : Mr. President, what is your earliest memory of India.

MR. McCLELLAN : We've got to go to the next one.

Q : What is your earliest memory of India and Indians?

THE PRESIDENT : Gandhi. It's my first memory, as I think about India. You know, a person who was so spiritual that he captured the imagination of the entire world. He's proof positive that -- throughout history there have been individuals that have had the capacity to shape thought and to influence and -- beyond border. And he did that.

Q : You watched the movie?

THE PRESIDENT : I watched that, too. But that's -- but my memory was earlier than that.

Thank you.

Q : Thank you, very much.

THE PRESIDENT : Enjoyed it.

CR: Have a great trip to India, Mr President.



http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1426634,curpg-1.cms

Despondency?

Dear J***** (aka Jerk),

I think you are as unChristian as they come.

You do not know what you discard. More fool you...

Grow up, will you?

Regards & etc.,

Pallavi

P.S. - Forgive my juvenile delinquency, but Father Aristotle believes in 'Katharsis'.

It's the same letter, jst worse!
cut it out!
and go to sleep
u will be fine tmrw

go go go

as will i

I will
sure
fine
i will be fine
u will be fine
we will be fine

tomorrow
tomorrow
tomorrow

tomorrow never comes
so we shall be fine


tomorrow never dies


they shall be fine
you will be fine
and I shall be fine

and tomorrow shall die today

Paycheck

The cell phone rocks to "Smoke on the Water". The LCD of my Nokia 6610 flashes "Prachi Khandeparkar".

"Yes Ma'am..."

"I want you to coach a third year student. Bhavya is bright but needs help as she was unable to attend lectures due to ill health."

"Oh, ok. I'd be more than happy to help."

"But this would be proper tutoring so you must charge her."

"Charge her? I've never charged to teach. I wouldn't know what to charge !! "

"4000 to 5000 per month . Coach her once a week for a couple of hours."

"Ok. Fine....."

...

***

Mrs. Neeta Ramakrishnan insists I coach her daughter twice a week, and that I come over to their Mahim flat to discuss the details.

Twice a week !!! No way !!! I don't have the time !!!

Let's ask for an absurd sum !! She's bound to refuse.

***

"I will charge Rs. 10,000 for coaching her twice a week for one and a half month. She must come over to my place. Is that ok?"

"That's alright. When will you begin?"

<< Is this woman insane? >>

"13th of January. Friday the 13th. And by the way, I will need a 50 % advance. Is that ok too? "

"Fine. Do you want cash, or will a cheque do?"

"Cheque is fine."

"Right, I'll give it to you just now."

"Oh no, no. 13th will be fine."

***

Flabbergasted. Boggled. Dumbfounded. Stupefied.

Paycheck !!!

As I Like It

Opinion about William Shakespeare’s “As you Like It”, has often been polemic, what with some critics labeling it a ‘sentimental pastoral’, while others like G. B. Shaw contending that it is more ‘lucrative’ than ‘sentimental’. Shakespeare, Shaw tells us, ‘was forced to write popular plays to save his theatre from ruin’, and that ‘he did it (i.e. wrote these popular plays) mutinously, calling the plays “As You Like It”, and “Much Ado About Nothing”’.

William Empson’s critique is a departure from extreme polemics. He identifies as a pastoral any work that contrasts simple and complicated life, to the advantage of the former. In Empson’s view, this mode of life serves as an oblique way to criticise the class structure of society. Shakespeare’s “pastoral” adheres to this definition, though not in its entirety.

Shakespeare’s attitude to either the country or the city is not unproblematic. He cannot be accused of conventional “pastoral” oversimplification. His ambiguous outlook is presented through antagonistic juxtaposition of characters – Jaques Vs. Duke Senior, Jaques Vs. Touchstone, Audrey Vs. Phebe are but some examples of the same.

Classical poets have idealised pastoral life as possessing features of the mythical ‘Golden Age’, and ‘country life’ symbolizes an innocent alternative to ambition, disturbance and war. Here, the court, as Duke Sr. tells us, is nothing but “painted pomp” – it is “envious”, and full of sycophantic “flattery”. To cut a long story short, the country is the city’s antithesis.

If the court is corrupt, the Forest of Arden should have been Elysium. But as we step into the forest with Rosalind and Orlando, we are greeted with the negative – their precise tautology confirms Arden as a “desert place”. Also, the wind is cold, and the weather such that protection becomes preferable. If Andrew Marvell in his “The Garden” painted a picture of plenitude with lines like, “The Nectaren, and curious Peach / Into my hands themselves do reach”, Shakespeare shows us that labour is a sine qua non.

Unlike Ben Jonson, Shakespeare does not declare that “the painted partrich lyes in every field/ And, for thy messe, is willing to be kill’d”. Exploitation is acknowledged through Jaques accusing the Duke of being a greater usurper than the brother who has banished him. Humans are essentially “tyrants” and “usurpers” whether they live in the country or the city, seems to be the message that Jaques wants to convey.

Nevertheless, his moralizing is lopsided. He considers usury, exploitation and neglect of the “bankrupt” not just human, but also “natural”. The deer episode exemplifies this. In a way, he contradicts his own invective against the Duke by providing him a reason for usury – nature is no better than man, so why not exploit it? – capitalist exploitation is absolved. He considers the “careless herd” callous without realising that if they neglect the wounded deer, it is only because the herd cannot help him. Ironically though being a man, and hence being capable of aiding the deer, Jaques isn’t proactive. Pontifical verse is more than enough to quell the qualms of his conscience.

Deviating from the quintessentially romanticized picture of love and friendship that pastoral eclogues portray, “As You Like It”, does not provide a motive (it is either love/lust at first sight) for love. As one critic puts it, ‘Love is all romance and poetry in Orlando and Rosalind Love is pastoral convention carried to ridicule in Silvius and Phebe. Love is a parody in Touchstone and Audrey. Love is prose, matter-of-fact in Oliver and Celia. “As You Like It”, also questions the nature of “true love”. Rosalind and Touchstone are instrumental here.

Rosalind in her “hose and doublet” catechizes Orlando as regards love and informs him that though “men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love”. Touchstone parodies Orlando’s callow love-eclogues, and his love for Audrey is blatantly lecherous and debauched. To speak in capitalist terms, love comes across as a ‘mutual contract’ – an ‘investment’ with its own liabilities. Rosalind while educating Phebe crudely observes that “Sell when you can, you are not for all markets”.

What Helen Gardner calls the ‘Mozartian’ nature of the play also adds to their ideological refrain with its “Most friendship is feigning, most loving, mere folly”. This wonderfully witty play with its bold and outspoken heroine and core of optimism and romance pokes gentle fun at the game of love while praising its virtues and celebrating its triumphs.

In conjunction with love, we see Shakespeare ostensibly questioning what it means to be masculine or feminine. Orlando to Rosalind, to use a cliché, is like the candle held to the sun. Rosalind’s scintillating wit has endeared her to many feminists. Consequently, they have been able to excuse Shakespeare for his rather tawdry representations – namely, Phebe and Audrey – one a coquette, and the other a fatuous country lassie, who not unlike Mr. Morel in “Sons and Lovers”, can make no sense of Touchstone’s poetry and incisive wit. (Weird, isn’t it, that some feminists should find this double indictment of gender and class innocuous?)

Shaw locates the reason for Rosalind’s enduring popularity not in her feminine traits, but in her masculinity. He points particularly to her male attire during most of the play, and to the aggressive manner in which she makes love. Shaw calls her an “incomplete human being”, but contemporary critical verbiage would probably term her behaviour androgynous.

Shakespeare’s vocabulary throughout the play makes it quite clear that Rosalind’s comportment is unlike that of the “natural” Elizabethan female – she is masculine. And if she is successful as a character, it is masculinity that must be lauded. Shakespeare’s transvestite intellectual thus does nothing to blur the gender divide as proposed by a certain faction, but only compounds the binary with obscure misogyny. Once again, to borrow from commerce, femininity is ‘unprofitable’ !!(Nevertheless, one can excuse Shakespeare, because he was not free from discourse – patriarchal or otherwise).

Shakespeare subverts the tradition of the pastoral ‘moral eclogue’ through Corin and Touchstone. Corin’s bucolic pro-pastoral sermon that applauds the ‘dignity of labour’ is negated by Touchstone’s mercantile repartee – he points out that Corin earns his living through the “copulation of cattle”.

In the Touchstone-Corin eclogue, the tension between literal and figurative language is palpable. No wonder then that C. L. Barker feels “As You Like It” is a ‘language play’ – a play wherein there is an almost Metaphysical alliance seriousness and levity. Through adroit verbal callisthenics, Shakespeare exposes how ‘Ways of Seeing’ are negotiated by one’s perspective. Though one can’t agree completely with Touchstone, one sees that Corin is no religious figure – he is not the figure of Christ as the God Shepherd. Rather, Corin is a country capitalist.

Thus we see that Arden is no pastoral idyll. Economy is not elided - the fact that economy directs sociology is acknowledged. Nevertheless, Shakespeare does not produce a counter-pastoral. The Country-City binary is not dismantled. Though Shakespeare exposes pastoral exaggeration, he still maintains the binary. The country is not an Elysium, but nevertheless, it is ‘simple’.

All the original country characters are ‘simple’ people who delight in ‘simple’ things. Hegemony is seen at play when Corin calls himself “a true labourer” who earns what he eats. Even Adam, though city bred, is a ‘loyal’ proletarian. Orlando laments that there aren’t more like Adam in whom is seen the “constant service of the antique world”. Incongruously enough, the proletariat is never shown at its labours. So though, there is no ‘magical extraction’ of the curse of labour’ (Raymond Williams) by the simple process of the extraction of the existence of labourers, there is an elision – there are labourers, but there is no actual labour !!

Thus, we see that though Shakespeare does not fall prey to what Raymond Williams calls the myth of the conventional ‘Golden Age’, he successfully creates a new ‘Golden Age’ that is based on hierarchy. The Lord’s in his manor, and all’s well with the world !!

Mumbai Local

The LCD told me that the next Churchgate Slow would make me wait for six tedious minutes. I grimaced.

Why hadn't I done my usual 20 metre sprint across the Santacruz bridge down to platform number 2 ? Why had I let the earlier local grate out without me?

HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME

Time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions.

On the platform the hoi polloi come and go,
Talking of Cutting Chai & not Michaelangelo.

HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME

Hallelujah. The train cometh.

Sleek. Very sleek. Futuristic.

This was my first encounter with the new coaches introduced by the Western Railway. All steel, its insides gleamed in the evening sun. The first class compartment had plush peach seats, more easily accessible handholds, and all the fans actually rotated.

Some juvenile graffiti decorated the walls, but it was welcome for a change. "Smita - a crudely drawn heart - Anil", made me feel a wee bit at home in these alien surroundings.

Plugging the ears with never severed electronic umbilical cords dangling from omnipresent FM Tuners/I Pods/ MP3 players/Cell phones. Reading. Applying make up. Brushing hair. Nose digging. Etcetera & etc.

To cut a long story short, all the normal "Mumbai Local" functions had ceased. We were actually looking around, and at each other.

I am told that the "Second Class" ladies generally share a great rapport, and over time form their own micro communities which discuss everything from nits to nervous disorders.

Being a part of the elite "First Class", I had barely exchanged a word with my co-passengers. 'Mind your own business' seemed to be the creed, and so I was in for a surprise. Sheepish, almost apologetic smiles were exchanged.

"This is my second time".

"This is my first".

"Cool na ?"...

...was interrupted with the unusually clear and surprisingly not nasal,

"Attention please. The next station is Khar Road. Agla station Khar Road hai. Dhanyavaad".

Deja vu! Deja vu!

The Kolkata Metro anyone? The only difference being that they didn't announce the exit direction. (By the by, why do they always have female announcers? I wouldn't mind a Bacchanesque baritone).

More smiles, and some gawking at the LCD which many (yours truly included) had not noticed initially ensued.

Smiles. Grins. Giggles. Chuckles. Chat.

Such a Long Journey ??

No. Non. Nein. Nahi.

Brown Skin, White Masks

Fair & Handsome !! A fairness cream for men with a double peptide bond for "tough male skin" !! What tough skin?? Skin is skin, is skin, is skin, ain't it?

By the by, what happened to tall, dark & handsome ??

New Kid on the Block !!

Yes, there's a new kid on the block. And no, I am not talking of Donnie, Jon, Joe, Danny or Jordan. He's all of five months, and he's my nephew !! With more nieces and nephews than I can count, I'm definitely headed for senescence. :P

Baby's Day In

Click. Flash. Grin. Then back to crying or wailing or tugging your hair off. When a camera stares her in the face, my niece Ananya looks straight at the lens and gives you her best toothless all-gummy grin. A definite child prodigy !! Classical Conditioning anyone?

In Theory

Another application of all the literary theories we canvass in class....

But before that, it is very
important that all of you attempt the following psychological test !!

No cheating. Pick your dessert, then look to see what
Psychiatrists think about you!
After taking this dessert personality test, copy,
paste and send this e-mail on to others, with your OWN application of
the various theories that you are aware of !!

If you were making a dessert and you had your choice
of those below (or some great bakery was baking the
dessert of your choice), which would you choose?


> *Angel food
> *Brownies
> *Lemon Meringue
> *Vanilla with Chocolate Icing
> *Strawberry Short Cake
> *Chocolate on Chocolate
> *Ice Cream
> *Carrot Cake
>
>
> NO ... You can't change your mind once you scroll
> down!
>
>
>
>
>
>
> So think carefully, what your choice will be!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what
> research says about you!
>
> Angel food...
> Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy
> items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an
> ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive
> you as being childlike and immature at times.
>
> Brownies...
> You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of
> underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare
> up, you whip out your saber. You are always the
> oddball with a unique sense of humour and direction.
> You tend to be very loyal.
>
> Lemon Meringue...
> Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an
> excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But
> don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit
> of a diva at times, but you have many friends.
>
> Vanilla with Chocolate Icing...
> Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in
> life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone
> enjoys being around you, but you are a practical
> joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad.
> However, you are a friend for life.
>
> Strawberry Short Cake...
> Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people
> and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt.
> You can be overly emotional and annoying at times.
>
> Chocolate on Chocolate...
> Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative,
> adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a
> cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid
> to take chances. Will not settle for anything average
> in life. Love to laugh.
>
> Ice Cream...
> You like sports, whether it be baseball, football,
> basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to
> participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't
> like to give up the remote control. You tend to be
> self-centered and high maintenance.
>
>
> Carrot Cake...
> You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh.
> You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with
> you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little
> quirky at times. You have many loyal friends

From: Pallavi Mogre
Date: Sun Nov 30, 2003 5:10 am
Subject: I chose Brownies, BUT according to POSTCOLONIAL tenets.....


...there's a big problem with this test !!! Edward Said would probably
call it "Eurocentric" !!

I may have heard of angel food, and lemon meringues, but I have no
idea as to how they taste etc. Plus, this test OTHERISES vegetarians,
and those whose sweet tooth never erupted !!

Maybe we should invent (or should I say CONSTRUCT, because I don't
particularly believe in these tests) a psychological test with stuff
like jalebis and rasgollas ... or would that be called NATIVISM ??

Also, I can't be sure that these rasgollas were originally Indian,
right? For all I know, they may have come to India from Timbuktu. So,
HOW NATIVE IS NATIVE?

And would I be justified in making these UNIVERSALIST ASSUMPTIONS?
Some people don't even get one square meal a day.

MARXISTS would declare war on these jalebis and rasgollas, and
FEMINISTS would probably brandish statistics telling me that though
chefs at 5 star hotels may be male, the scene at home hasn't changed
all that much, and that women are still frying the jalebis !!!

Oh well.......

..........let's just enjoy our dessert, eh? ;)